


Everything Gets So Loud Sometimes

by Sweetener_Rose



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: Bade - Freeform, F/M, Grief, Jandre Friendship, Mourning, Multi, Sadness, Talking, cade friendship, i dont even know, who knows at this point - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:14:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25737115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetener_Rose/pseuds/Sweetener_Rose
Summary: It's been a week since Jade's mom died from a stroke. A week since Jade's world shut down. A week since the constant feeling of being alone took over. And all anyone ever tries to do anymore is talk to her.
Relationships: Beck Oliver/Jade West
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39





	Everything Gets So Loud Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Hi :) I was bored this week and it rained a lot so I thought why not light a few candles and try to write a one-shot. Probably isn't my best work ever, but I'm still glad I wrote it. It's kind of a sad oneshot but don't worry there's happy parts to it also. It can take place in-universe or not if you want it to, depends on how you see it. I would like to say now that there are mentions of death throughout this so please don't read if that makes you uncomfortable in any way. One last thing- I only wrote about Beck, Cat and Andre's experiences with Jade in this oneshot but I also wanted to write about Robbie,Tori and Sikowitz's experiences so maybe I'll do a part two? Anyways I hope you enjoy <3

It had officially been three weeks, two days, and four hours since Angelina Coleman-West had passed away. At least that’s what Jade thought. It was hard keeping track of the time now, these past weeks everything had seemed to go by in a blur. Jade felt like the world was closing in on her, like she was being swallowed by it.  
She feared she would get sucked into a never ending hole of darkness if she didn’t open up to someone or at least try to talk soon. She knew everyone around her was thinking the same thing. They all feared that her constant silence and one word answers would become permanent if she didn’t open up to them. None of them would say it out loud, especially not around her, but they were all extremely worried. Worried that the death of her mom had officially broken Jade, and this time they wouldn’t be able to fix her.

That’s why all they seemed to do anymore was try to get her to talk to them. 

1.Beck

Beck had been with Jade when she got the call. They were at the iHop just a few miles away from Jade’s home for their usual Friday date when Jade’s phone started to ring. She rolled her eyes, seeing that the person calling was her father. Beck gave her a questioning look as Jade shrugged before answering the phone. 

Beck didn’t know what Mr.West said to Jade in that moment but before he could even ask what was happening, Jade’s face had gone completely pale. She looked at him with wide eyes as she kept the phone close to her ear while he gave her a concerned look. He was about to ask what was wrong before Jade shot up out of the booth and ran towards the exit. Beck slammed some cash down onto the table before rushing out of the restaurant behind her. He followed where she went before spotting her near the end of the parking lot. She wasn’t running anymore, coming to a stand still as her whole body shook. He recognized the motion of her body shaking as sobs and ran to catch up with her. 

Just as he was a few feet away from her, she collapsed. She fell down to her knees as her sobs rang louder and Beck instantly got down in front of her. He tried to place his hands on her shoulders, coaxing her to tell him what happened but Jade just shook her head. He brought her shaking body into his lap, trying to hold her, while she just mumbled through the tears “she’s gone”.  
\----  
It had been three weeks since that moment, three weeks since Jade had officially closed Beck out. She started to live with him three weeks ago too. She didn’t want to go home and stay in the house that was haunted with her mom’s memories. She also wasn’t too fond of the idea of going to live with her practically absent father, Beck had become her final option. 

It’s not like they didn’t stay together beforehand, if things got messy or upsetting at Jade’s home she’d come to stay at the RV. And if Beck felt lonely some nights he would come to her house and stay there.

But things had become noticeably different than before. Staying together before meant that they would stay up late watching random movies and then chug coffee in the morning. Staying together now was drastically different. Jade would sleep all day, refuse to go to school, and not touch the coffee Beck made her. She also wouldn’t let any of the lights be on in the RV, letting the darkness take over.

Beck knew what she was doing wasn’t healthy for her, but as he saw her tired figure and sad eyes, he knew picking a fight with her over the issue wouldn’t do them any good. That’s why he stayed silent about his concerns, he didn’t bring it up around Jade and when he was at school he didn’t bring it up around their friends. He knew he should try to talk to someone about it, maybe his parents or Lane but every time he tried to, he failed. So the anxiety he had stayed in his head, and he learned to cope with it, until one day. 

Walking into the RV after a long day of school he wasn’t welcomed with what he was expecting. He expected to find Jade huddled up in his bed sound asleep, with all of the lights off. But he was welcomed with a different sight. Instead, some of the lights were turned on, and Jade was sat up in his bed with his laptop on her lap. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and as he took a closer look at her face he noticed her usual somber expression wasn’t there. She wasn’t smiling or looking happy but there weren't any tear stains on her cheeks and he took that as a good sign. Beck knew that this was his chance, maybe she would finally start to open up to him, give him more than just one word answers.

“Hey, you’re up” He spoke as he closed the RV door behind him, making his way over to the bed so he could sit next to her. 

“I’m over sleeping all day, I’m still exhausted, but not in the way where I want to sleep, you know?” Jade told him honestly, Beck nodded his head slowly, placing a hand on her knee. He realized that her answer was an improvement from the usual “wasn’t tired” or “couldn’t sleep” he’d get as a response and took that as a sign to continue talking. 

“How are you doing? You got up today, looks like you’ve eaten something and got somewhat dressed, have you had water or medicine?” Beck felt himself rambling but he couldn’t help it. 

Jade gave him a look, signalling him to shut up, before she cleared her throat and answered him “I hate that question. Whenever somebody asks how you are doing it just means they know you’re doing bad. There’s no point to the question really.”

Beck flinched at her brutally honest answer but knew that it meant that she didn’t want him to push her today. She didn’t want him to try to get her to talk more or give him more answers but he couldn’t stop himself. 

“Jade baby…..you know you can talk to me right? You haven’t said much in three weeks now, not since it happened. And it’s totally okay if you’re not willing to talk to the others, you don’t have to. But shutting yourself out like this, shutting me and the rest of the world out, it isn’t good for you. I don’t want to push you in any way that would make you uncomfortable, I just want you to talk to me. Give me a sign that you’ll be okay, that we’ll be okay.” He finished up his statement with a little bit of fear, scared to see how she would react. 

He wasn’t ready for her tough exterior to completely break at his words, her eyes filling up with tears as she avoided eye contact. He took his hand off of her knee and reached to interlace her fingers with his as she tried to gather her words. 

She kept her head facing down at her lap before croaking out “I’m sorry” the tears blocking her voice from being clear. 

Beck immediately pulled her to rest against his side as he heard her words. Jade was never one to apologize first, especially in situations like this where she had nothing to apologize for.

“Hey hey no, do not say that, you don’t have to be sorry, you’ve done nothing wrong” Beck rubbed her arm up and down, trying to convince her. 

“But I’ve shut you out, I’ve shut everybody out. You should hate me just like everybody else should, I’ve been awful.” Jade refused to make eye contact with him, but he was determined to keep her talking. Afraid that if she stopped, it would be for good this time and he wouldn’t get her to open up again.

“Nobody hates you Jade, especially not me, I promise. We’re all just worried. We just want you to be okay, I need you to be okay” Beck tried to tell her in his most calm voice, get his message across. 

“I’m just so tired Beck” Jade choked out one last sob before fully collapsing into Beck’s embrace. She gripped his flannel with a tremble as Beck immediately shushed her, taking her hair out of her ponytail slowly and trying to thread his fingers through it. 

“I know Jade, I know…..just please tell me what I can do to help, I’ll do anything” Beck moved both of them down into a lying position on his bed, placing her as close to him as she could get. 

“Just don’t leave me” Jade whispered to him, her face buried in his flannel. She shook her head back and forth as Beck drew her even closer to him. 

He didn’t respond to her words, he just made a silent promise to himself as she stroked her hair. He promised himself he would never let anything hurt her like this again. And Jade was okay with him not answering, not pestering her to continue the conversation. She was grateful instead, grateful he was letting her take control and talk when she wanted. Over the past three weeks she learned that she enjoyed the silence, talking becoming too much for her. But as Beck’s embrace got tighter and she felt the warmness he radiated reach her body, she smiled to herself. Knowing that even if she didn’t feel like talking a lot now, she would want to at some point. And when she felt like talking, Beck would be there to listen. 

2\. Cat

Cat didn’t understand why everything was changing around her. She knew Jade was really hurt from her mom’s death and she understood that. But what she didn’t get was why Jade shut her out. She didn’t understand why Jade had refused to see her and the rest of the group since the funeral two weeks ago. She knew Beck would obviously be the one Jade clung to these past few weeks, needing her boyfriend, but Cat hoped she would need her too. So when Jade had started to not let the others see her and wouldn’t come to school, Cat got sadder. 

She would be sad during class when she noticed Beck’s tired face and neutral expression. And she would be sad at lunch when it was mostly quiet between the group, Jade not there to make sarcastic jokes. But most of all, she would be sad every morning as she watched the school’s entrance, waiting for Jade to appear, but she never did. That made Cat the saddest, and little by little she felt her bubbly persona slipping away.

Everyday she would ask Beck when she could see Jade, maybe bring a gift to the RV where Jade was staying. But every time she had asked him, he gave her the same answer “I don’t know."

Cat couldn’t get mad at his answer either, knowing it was the truth, he actually didn’t know. He had explained to her a little bit about how Jade was really different now, how she laid in bed all day and didn’t like seeing or talking to people. Cat knew he wasn’t giving her all the details but maybe that was for her own good. She might get even more confused if Beck tried to explain Jade’s state in more depth. For now, she just accepted his answer and tried not to bug him with questions, hoping that someday soon he would tell her she could finally see Jade. 

The day he told her she could see Jade came sooner than Cat expected. It was a couple days after Beck had told the group at lunch that he felt Jade was getting better. They all smiled when Beck told them and gave encouragement but knew not to ask the question of when they could see her. Cat had even shortened how many times she asked the question of when she could see Jade, that’s why she was surprised when Beck approached her at her locker at the end of the school day. 

“Hey do you have anything to do right now?” He questioned her, leaning against the lockers, a small smirk on his face. 

“I have to be home at six to help my brother with his special medicine but that’s it, why?” She took notice of the smile on his lips but didn’t want to ask what it was about, afraid it would disappear once she pointed it out. 

“Well someone texted me during seventh period and they really want to see you” Beck held up his phone as he grinned at her.

Cat didn’t know what he was talking about, not connecting the dots of who this someone could be, so she just gave him a confused expression before he elaborated.

“Jade wants to see you” he explained to her and she instantly shrieked. 

Cat closed her locker with a sight slam before asking “really?” excitement present in her voice. 

“Yeah, come on, I’ll drive us there, Jade’s waiting” he told her as Cat shrieked again, running in front of him and rushing out of the doors towards his car. He laughed to himself before following her. He approached his car where Cat was standing near the passenger door and he knew now was the time to explain things to her. 

They both entered the car and Beck started up the engine before glancing at Cat in the passenger seat. 

“Cat listen to me, you have to take it easy on Jade okay? She’s still not really herself and I don’t know how she’ll react to your excitement. As much as she loves you, it’s hard for her to see people right now. It’s even been hard for her to see and talk to me, I just don’t want you to get upset if she doesn’t talk much or seems different” he tried his best to explain it to her slowly.

Cat took in his words and nodded at him. She understood what he was saying for the most part, even if it didn’t totally make sense.   
He nodded back at her before pulling out of the school parking lot and beginning to drive to his RV. 

The rest of the ride had been silent but the second they approached his house and saw the RV in the driveway Cat unbuckled her seat belt and lept out of the car. She was practically jumping as she ran up to the door of the RV while Beck followed behind her. She reached to yank open the RV door but stopped herself, turning around to look at Beck. She seemed to be asking without words if it was okay for her to go inside, Beck found it sweet how she had stopped herself but he knew Jade wanted to see her so he nodded for her to go in. She smiled before pushing open the door and facing the sight of Jade. 

Jade was sitting up in Beck’s bed with a laptop in front of her, playing some random show as she picked at her nails. Cat didn't know exactly what she had been expecting Jade to look like but it wasn’t this. Jade’s hair was now just a simple black with no colors put in it and was more wavy rather than curly. She had on an over sized sweatshirt and a pair of pajama shorts that were a huge difference from Jade’s usual tight fitting clothes. But the biggest difference though was Jade’s face, it lacked the sarcastic tone it usually had and was replaced with tiredness. It also had gotten even paler than it had been before and she had serious eye bags. Cat may have not been the brightest and wasn’t the first to pick up on things, but she did notice Jade’s different look, and how exhausted it was. Cat remembered how Beck had told them that Jade was getting better and now she wondered what Jade had looked like earlier, cause this seemed bad enough even if she was better.

Jade looked up from her nails to see the redhead standing at the doorway, twirling a piece of her hair as Beck moved towards the RV’s kitchen to give them some privacy. 

Jade smiled softly as she motioned for Cat to come closer to her, knowing that Cat was doing her best not to jump on her and smother her in a hug.   
When Cat finally reached the bed, she sat right next to Jade and brought her into a tight hug. Jade wasn’t too happy with the tightness in Cat’s grip but she knew she couldn’t push her away, so instead she just let Cat hug her closely. 

Cat felt the tears begin to pour out of her eyes as Jade let her hug her, even giving her a small squeeze back. At that moment all of the confusion Cat had felt in the past weeks was worth it and she whispered out a small “Jadey.” Their hug getting tighter if that was even possible. 

Cat felt relieved as their hug went on for several minutes, neither of them talking but still holding onto each other. Jade had been the one to let go first as she moved her hair away from her face.

“Hey Cat” Jade spoke in a hoarse voice that Cat recognized as her sick voice. Cat’s concern shot up at this, Beck had mentioned that Jade had been quiet and not herself, but he never brought up her being sick. 

Jade saw the confusion plastered across Cat’s face and began to explain to her “don’t worry, I’m not really sick, just a headache and a cough, I’ll get better as soon as I start to feel better.”

Cat only got more confused at this, didn’t Beck say that Jade was doing better already? “But I thought Beck said you felt better already?”

Jade sighed at this, knowing that Beck tried his best to explain things to Cat but she still wouldn’t fully understand. 

“Cat.... I am doing kind of better, better than I was at the funeral two weeks ago, but not 100% still, I probably won’t be 100% for a long time.” Jade tried to explain as slowly as possible, hoping Cat would get the gist. 

Cat understood what Jade was saying, she really did, but that didn’t stop the onslaught of questions that poured out of her mouth. “But when are you coming back to school? Are you coming back to school at all? We all really miss you, even Trina and Rex miss you sometimes, isn’t that funny? When was the last time you saw your dad? Are you ever going to go back to your house?....”

Jade winced as Cat’s questions continued to go on and on. As they kept going, Beck walked out from the RV’s kitchen and immediately took note of Jade’s expression. He saw the grimace on her face and knew Cat was overwhelming her. 

“Hey Cat, how about we slow down on the questions, let Jade take her time” he suggested, knowing that Cat wasn’t trying to move that fast, she just couldn’t help it.   
Cat saw Jade’s slight frown as she took in Beck’s words, feeling guilty for pushing Jade too far. 

“I’m sorry Jadey, I didn’t want to make you upset” she mumbled as she fidgeted with her hair again. 

Jade nudged Cat with her shoulder before speaking “hey it’s okay, really, I just don’t really like talking about those things right now.”

Cat nodded at her words, knowing that even if she wanted to push Jade to answer the questions, she had to respect what Jade wanted. The room fell silent before Cat looked up at Jade with teary eyes “I really missed you” she told her honestly.

Jade softly smiled at this, knowing that even if Cat’s talking would give Jade a headache, she still had good intentions. And the truth was that Jade had really missed Cat too, there was a reason she had been the first person Jade wanted to see besides Beck. Along with being her best friend, Jade knew that Cat’s bright personality would bring some light into the gloominess that was Jade’s world right now. And Jade could handle the constant talking Cat would do as long as some of that sunshine was brought into Jade’s life.

Both of the girls smiled at each other before Cat remembered something she intended to show Jade. She grabbed the backpack that she brought in with her and opened it up, pulling something out. 

“Hey look I got our yearbook for this year, let’s look at everyone!” She exclaimed with excitement while Jade rolled her eyes with a smirk.

3\. Andre

Andre had been the third one allowed to see Jade, well technically he hadn't even been allowed to see her, he actually had to go to the RV so he and Beck could work on a project. 

The group knew that Cat had been the first one to see Jade besides Beck and none of them were phased by it. They knew that Cat was the closest to Jade out of all of them and that she would be the first Jade had allowed to visit her. What Andre didn’t know was that he would be the next one to see Jade. 

Him and Beck had been partnered up for their history class and were due to give a presentation on the Revolutionary War in a week. They were fine being paired up together, knowing that it would be easy work, the problem was just figuring out where to do the work. They both knew they couldn’t do it at Andre’s house because of his grandma, and they couldn’t stay after school due to Beck’s fear of leaving Jade alone longer than necessary. They could try to get it done during lunch and study halls but they knew the project would end up needing more time. Andre didn’t want to ask Beck if they could work on it at the RV, knowing Jade was staying there but Beck knew what he was thinking anyway. 

Beck sighed as Andre stayed silent before telling him “I’ll try to talk to Jade about it tonight, see what she says.” Andre nodded at this, deciding it was fair, before they parted ways for the night. 

The next day Andre was pulling books out of his locker for his morning classes before Beck approached him. “Good news, Jade’s okay with us working on the project at the RV, we can work on it this afternoon.”

Andre nodded at Beck, saying “sounds good” before Beck made his way over to his own locker to get his books. Andre began to walk off to his R&B vocals class and he felt himself get nervous. It had been around three weeks since the funeral when he had last seen Jade. He knew she had changed a lot since then. Even if she did look pretty defeated and downcast at the funeral, he knew it had gotten worse. From Beck not talking about Jade’s condition a lot at school and then the somewhat unusual description Cat had given them of what Jade looked like, he knew it couldn’t be good. He was afraid to see how different Jade had become during these past few weeks but was also nervous on how to talk to this Jade. 

Before, him and Jade had been somewhat friends, or at least they understood each other. She found his jokes funny and he was able to understand her dark humor, they got along and would even hang out alone from time to time.

Now it would be different, he had barely ever seen the vulnerable side of Jade, and he definitely didn’t know how to talk to that side of her. He was petrified that he would say the wrong thing and she would get upset or angry, so he just prayed that the afternoon would go smoothly.   
\------  
Andre braced himself before pulling open the RV door, expecting to see Jade doing something around the RV. She was instead passed out on Beck’s bed, tucked underneath the comforter as a speaker played soft music from the nightstand. Beck entered the RV after Andre, taking sight of Jade’s sleeping form before sighing. Beck moved across the RV and dropped his bag next to the bed before bending down and rubbing his hand up and down Jade’s arm, looking at her. He did that for a few minutes as Andre watched him, expecting Jade to wake up from Beck’s movement but she just shivered in her sleep. Beck moved to pull the comforter up Jade’s body in an attempt to warm her up before he turned to look at Andre. 

“We can work on the project in the kitchen, I think she just fell asleep a little bit ago and waking her up right now wouldn’t be the best idea” Beck explained to which Andre nodded in agreement. 

The making of their presentation was going smoothly and they were pretty sure they had about half of it done before they decided they were thirsty. Beck got up to look in the fridge before seeing it was mostly empty. He told Andre he was going to run inside the house and get sodas and also get more supplies for their project and Andre nodded. Figuring it wouldn’t be a problem to be left alone in the RV for a few minutes. 

Just as Beck had pulled the RV door closed behind him and he made his way to the house, Jade woke up.   
Andre was sitting in the kitchen on his phone when he heard her voice call out. “Beck?” was all the groggy voice said, clearly muffled from Jade laying underneath the blanket. 

Andre wasn’t sure how to handle the situation. He could get up and go see what Jade needed himself, but he was afraid Jade would freak out if it was just him there. Or he could sit and wait for Beck to get back and help Jade with whatever she needed, but that might cause Jade to panic if nobody shows up when she calls out.   
Andre decides he’ll be able to handle going out to help Jade, hoping she won’t freak out when she sees him. As he made his way back into the main area of the RV where the bed was located, Jade looked up at him, her eyebrows furrowing, questioning where Beck was. 

Andre got what she was wondering without her telling him and told her “he’s just inside getting drinks and some supplies, he’ll be out in a few minutes.”  
Jade nodded at his response, looking down at her hands rested on the blanket before pulling herself up into a sitting position on the bed. 

She gave a small glance to Andre that he took as an okay for him to try talking to her. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked her, which got him a glare in return. The look on her face basically said seriously? and he felt stupid for even asking that, knowing she obviously wasn’t doing well. 

“Sorry that was a dumb question, we already know the answer to that” he laughed awkwardly before he came up with another question. “Why’d you wake up?” he asked. 

This was the first question Jade had answered with words and he was kind of surprised by her answer. “Bad dream” she told him honestly, looking down at her hands again. 

“A bad dream?” he questioned, trying to get her to tell him more details so he could provide her some comfort. 

“Not really a dream, more like a memory of my mom and I” Jade told him as Andre raised his eyebrows, not expecting her to be this open with him.

“Oh yeah, a memory dream, I hated those. I used to get them a lot right after my parents died” he told her. He didn’t know if bringing up his parents to her was a good idea, not knowing how’d she react to the topic of death.

But to his surprise she didn’t react in anger or get sad at his words, she just asked him “how did you deal with it?”

She sounded desperate as she asked him the question, and Andre realized that he could help Jade in this situation. Even if grief was a bad thing for them to relate over, it was still something they both shared, and he could help her try to understand it. 

“You can’t really deal with it Jade, you just have to let it happen, let the pain hurt for awhile and let yourself be sad” he told her this honestly, and for the first time in a while, Jade was actually grateful that someone was talking to her. 

Andre continued his advice after seeing that Jade wouldn’t lash out on him.“And as much as it hurts right now J, it won’t always hurt like this. But you need to allow yourself to live your life, do normal things like go to school, see your friends and be open with them.” Andre said the last part nervously, worried that she would get mad at him implying she needed to start living again. 

Jade didn’t get mad at his words though, instead she actually took them into consideration. If it were Beck or Cat trying to tell her this she would've gotten mad, saying they had no right to tell her how to mourn. But Andre was telling her this, and it was different with him because he could actually relate to her. She knew about him losing both his parents to a car accident when he was nine, which meant she also knew he was telling her the truth about grieving. 

“What if it hurts too much right now to try and go live my life again?” Jade questioned him, her voice cracking as she tried to stop tears from falling out. 

“That’s totally okay, it’s important you take the time you need, because right now you need to focus on yourself. But at some point, it will start to feel better and you’ll eventually want to get out and live your life again. No rush for you to do that though.” Andre tried to make his words sound as convincing as possible, hoping it’ll bring Jade some clarity.

Jade was about to respond to him before he came up with more to tell her “And when you do want to open up and start to take control of your life again, we’ll be there for you.” He told her with sincerity as he sat down next to her on the bed “I mean that, we’ll all be there for you. Beck, Cat and I will be there, even Robbie and Tori. Sikowitz will help you out and hell, even Trina will try to help you.”

They both laughed at that last part and Jade felt normal for once. She was glad someone was talking to her like she was actually human, like she wasn’t on the verge of breaking every time anyone said something to her. As much as she loved her boyfriend and best friend, they both had started this habit where they would talk to Jade carefully every time they spoke. Jade knew it was normal at first, especially for Beck, him and Cat not wanting to upset her, but now Jade just found it annoying.  
Andre was the first person since the funeral that hadn’t done that to her and she was appreciative. Jade hated talking ever since her mom’s death, but she felt that with Andre’s advice, maybe she’d be able to start becoming herself again, maybe she’d feel like opening up.

Andre and Jade continued to laugh at his remark about Trina just as Beck opened the RV door. He saw them both sitting on the bed and looked at the grin on Jade’s face. He smiled at Jade’s expression, trying to capture the image of her smiling in his head since these days it was a rare sight. 

He set the sodas down on the counter beside him before taking the spot where Andre had been sitting next to Jade. “Hey you’re awake” he spoke to Jade with a smile on his face as she grinned back at him.

Andre watched Beck and Jade continue to talk with a smile before he made his way over to the kitchen where their project was. He hoped that at least some of his words had stuck with Jade. 

4\. Beck (again)

Beck thought that him and Jade had finally made a breakthrough. Ever since she had started to see Andre and Cat again, things had gone smoothly between them. If he was lucky, he could get her to laugh sometimes and most days he could get her to smile. He finally felt like they were getting somewhere.

Jade still didn’t want to see Robbie or Tori, not being particularly close with the two, and Beck understood that. She explained how she knew that Tori would constantly bother her with questions and concerns, never letting up. And how Robbie would probably be even more nervous than Andre had been to see her. Fearing that if he made one wrong move or said the wrong thing, she’d kill him in a second. When Beck told Robbie and Tori about Jade still not being comfortable seeing them, they were understanding. Tori kind of bugged him about it but Robbie had been relieved, sure he wanted to see how Jade was doing, but that didn’t stop him from being scared. 

Beck also explained to Sikowitz how he didn’t know when Jade would be coming back to school. It was mid April which meant that Jade had around two more months to get back, but Beck didn’t know if she’d come back at all. If she really wanted to, she could catch up with missed work online and then finish the semester online too, but they all hoped Jade would come back and finish her school year actually at school. 

School was the one thing that had actually been a sore subject for Beck and Jade. Usually Beck would be able to get her to talk about most things, but school was off limits. He tried bringing it up to her one day, suggesting she go back soon, and Jade immediately broke down. He didn’t know why school was the one thing they couldn’t talk about, not understanding why it was a sensitive topic. What he did know though was that he couldn’t talk about it anymore, so he didn’t. It was an unspoken rule between them. 

Beck also didn’t try to push Jade to leave the RV, he knew being social again would be good for her but she seemed content in the RV. As long as Cat and Andre stopped by from time to time and Beck was with her, Jade had no problem staying in the RV. Up until one day when she got particularly bored.   
\-----  
Beck entered the RV after school on Friday and was met with a sight he wasn’t anticipating. Jade was up and moving around the RV, not lying in bed like she usually would be doing. And she was actually dressed in something other than pajamas too. What she was wearing resembled her old clothes and didn’t have a lot of color to it, mostly black. He stood in the doorway stunned as he watched her stand at the sink, washing a plate. He realized the plate was from her making herself food today and he took that as another achievement, that her appetite was coming back.

“Hey beautiful” He spoke as he set his stuff down on the RV’s table before approaching her. He had learned to stop asking “how are you” every time he got back from school, the phrase now being Jade’s least favorite thing to hear. 

She continued to wash the plate she was using as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. Jade smiled at the gesture before telling him “I’m bored.”  
“You’re bored?” He questioned her, turning his head to look at the side of her face. He didn’t know what she meant when she said she was bored, it could mean she wanted to lay down or maybe she felt like doing something. Beck was hoping for the second option. 

“Yeah I’m bored, it gets boring in here, let’s go do something” she explained to him and Beck couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across his face. 

“Wait you’re serious right now?” He asked, a little shock in his voice. This was the first time Jade had actually shown interest in wanting to leave the RV, him not having to beg her to go somewhere with him. 

“Yeah I’m serious, I want to go out and do something, not in a big crowd or anything. Just something with the two of us” she gave him a small smile and he nodded. 

“Okay let’s do that, what do you want to do?”   
\-------  
They came up with a plan of what they were going to do after thinking of several ideas. First they thought of going to see a movie but Jade thought the bright screen would give her a headache. Then they came up with the idea of going to the record store but Jade didn’t want to be too public. 

They ended up deciding that the perfect place for them to go was where they had used to spend a lot of their time. It was a large hill near the edge of Los Angeles. They would always drive up there in the evening and watch the sunset from the trunk of Beck’s truck, usually bringing pizza with them. 

That was exactly what they had decided on doing tonight, they packed a bunch of blankets and picked up pizza before making their way up to the hill.  
As they sat back on the edge of Beck's truck and watched the sun set, a comfortable silence took over. Jade rested her head on Beck’s shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her. They both stared at the orange tinted skies in front of them before Beck broke the silence. 

“You’re strong you know, stronger than you think you are” he looked down at her resting against his shoulder and smiled.

Jade snorted at the remark, closing her eyes as she laughed “I don’t think strong is what I would call myself right now but okay” she replied. 

“Jade I’m serious, the way you’ve handled everything since it happened....you’ve handled it better than any of the rest of us would have. We probably would have let it break us, but you....you didn't let that happen”

Jade looked down as he told her that part, contemplating if his words were true. “I don’t think I was strong Beck, I mean...at one point I would barely get out of bed and wouldn’t even talk. I really thought I was broken, I thought you did too. I don’t know how you’ve stayed with me for this long, I just keep making everyone miserable.” She avoided eye contact as she told him that, messing with the necklace around her neck. 

Beck didn’t know to respond to her, he wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that she hadn’t made any of them miserable. But as much as he tried to discourage her thoughts, he knew his words wouldn’t stop her from thinking that low of herself. 

So instead, he just pulled her against his side tighter and came up with something else to say “I know it’s been hard….really fucking hard for you, but you are strong, whether you agree or not. I know the constant talking and sharing of feelings you don’t like, but you’ve handled it well. I’m proud of you for that. I’m proud that even though things have felt like the end of the world, you haven’t fully shut yourself out, we haven’t lost you.”

He finished up his explanation before seeing that she had started to look at him again, her nervous habit of messing with her necklace coming to a stop. 

“Everything just gets so loud sometimes” Jade mumbled as tears built up in her eyes, threatening to spill but she held them back.

Beck sighed as he noticed the crack in her voice before he shifted them. He moved their positions so she was laying against him, his hands wrapping around her waist.

“We’re here now though, things are quiet up here, it doesn’t have to be loud. There doesn’t have to be any talking right now, it’s just you and me.” Beck told her as he brushed his fingers through her hair while she sighed. She closed her eyes before remembering one last thing she wanted to tell him.

“I want to go back to school on Monday” she spoke genuinely, looking up at Beck to see his reaction. 

He didn’t respond to what she said, just looked at her and nodded before they both let the quiet take over. 

Jade moved as close to Beck as possible and closed her eyes, finally feeling content. They both relaxed as neither of them spoke, for once no talking was happening, they just let their world fall silent.


End file.
